So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
