sorry about calling you the devil all night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
