Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
