We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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