I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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