He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
