ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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