She said her name was "party"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
