I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
