If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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