There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
