The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
