that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
