I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
