my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
