i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
