you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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