I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
