His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
