the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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