great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
