I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
