Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
