Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
