I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
