Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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