the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
