Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
