i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
