We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
