ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
