I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
