I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
