Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
