Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
