You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
