that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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