"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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