But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
