i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
