Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
