Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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