there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
