Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
farters have to be the big spoon...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
