I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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