I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
