they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
