shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
