..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
