The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
