life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
