So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
